I sit here at the end of 2022 having faced and still facing a number of emotional hurdles in my life and I\u2019m stuck thinking about how isolated and divisive many of us have become. I think about the tough times I had both prior to and throughout my divorce and a lot of my struggles had to do with becoming lonely and disconnected. I realize that I\u2019ve slowly receded into my introversion and I\u2019m flooded with a web of thoughts about how did I get to this place and how do I get out? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I see other people in my life struggling with the same questions and same isolation. As we learn to cope with covid; as companies start to encourage a return to the workplace; and as many of us emerge from our bubbles I can\u2019t help but ask, how do we re-learn how to connect? There are a multitude of reasons we\u2019ve all become disconnected in the past couple of decades, not just Covid, how do we address those causes, learn from our mistakes, and move forward?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have so many swirling thoughts on this topic that I\u2019m likely going to have a number of meandering posts just trying to get my own thoughts organized but I wanted to start with the practice of empathy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Regardless of the many many reasons I find that I and others in my life have become isolated, the biggest thing I see lacking as we foster new relationships, or even deal with old relationships is the lack of temperance and empathy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ve seen so many examples of these traits and skills lacking when I\u2019ve seen people going through tough times. I see an enormous number of mental health and relationship posts on TikTok where the common thread is just a simple lack of people just being there for one another.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What do I mean by a lack of temperance? I mean that in so many emotional or confrontational situations we\u2019re often quick to jump to a reaction before fully understanding what the underlying issue\/cause\/need is of the other people we\u2019re dealing with. In an age of instant gratification, we\u2019re also in an age of instant reaction. Calling someone a Karen rather than asking if there is are other underlying issues in someone\u2019s life causing agitation. \u201cKarens\u201d instantly assuming ill intent rather than a simple mistake or oversight and flaring up in anger. Instantly trying to solve everyone else\u2019s problems when sometimes that isn\u2019t what they need.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If we all practiced even a little more temperance on both sides, just a few more seconds to be thoughtful about the situation it would give us time to begin to practice empathy. Note that I am using the word empathy rather than sympathy. Rather than explain it, this video does a much better job of it: <\/p>\n\n\n\n